John Taylor, I've loved you since I was six. I watched MTV religiously, waiting to see your beautiful glammy mullet and your dazzling smile. I waited to see that red suit. I even listened to my friends when they told me that to learn how to kiss you, I had to pretend my pillow case was you. First grade slumber parties were never dull. John Taylor you are still beautiful. I can honestly tell you that I seriously LIKE the Neurotic Outsiders and "Feelings are Good" is a beautifully written song. John Taylor. Really. I am a good girl. I have been faithful to you for 15 years now. </gush>
	Andrew Scott. Only my favorite drummer in the world (sorry T.J.). I appreciate the fact that you are surly. I like the fact that you are a smartass. I don't mind that you drink so much. (I'll even buy you one the next time I see you!) I think you are cute with grey hair. You like Teenage Fanclub! Me too!! You and I both know a lot about Freemasons, and I'm the daughter of one, so like, let's hook up. Okay?
	Gruff Rhys. I have cool technicolor shoes like you. I like bad 70s rock just like you. You are cute. You are smart. You read, I read. I'm even learning Welsh to knock that communication barrier down a little more. (Iechyyd da!)
	Alex James. We can eat cheese and get fat together. I promise I won't tease you. I can keep your fringe nice and trimmed and all will be well.
	Jon Spencer. You are sex.

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