Last night was the much anticipated event at Trees
see Slash's Snakepit. Opening band was crap, double
acoustic guitar action with rockin' lead strat. all
members had long curly hair/mullets and leather vests.
I think my favorite lyric of theirs was "If you stay
I'll eat you, If you go I'll beat you." Quite an
Amanda's Hanoi Boy was there and came and stood with
us. This is after we heard three guys behind us
talking and saying "I'll give you $30 if you fuck the
one in the pants" ... which was me. Amanda leaned over
and said "you've got a bounty on your head darlin'" I
turned around and they were a group of frat boys.
Cuuuute. Lots of plaid, lots of khaki, lots of beer.
So anyways, the Hanoi Boy overheard me gripe about yet
another frat boy grabbing my rear end on his way to
the front of the crowd, and got talking and said "well
how much are you asking for the night?" ie straight
proposition. Damn funny. Amanda just went into shock
and was like "gaahhh, uhhh" ... so funny. Her dream
boy not only talking to her, but talking sinister. It
Slash and crew came on and it was so fun. At first I
was kind of scared because it was just so over the
top, but hell, it was Slash, and you might as well try
to enjoy yourself. The other guitarist had blonde
dreds and was playing a shimmery glittery leopard
print flying v. Nice!! So some girl grabbed me to go
to the front and we made our way up there and I was
holding onto the monitor before long. Hysteria ensued
when they came back for an encore and played "Mr.
Brownstone". Slash made a crude gesture with his
tongue at me during the solo. Very comforting indeed.
So we left and waited outside the tour bus (which had
an airbrushed beach on the side!) with everyone else.
Slash walked out of the club and was signing
autographs for a moment, then he got rushed to the
bus. Amanda took his picture in a very tabloid sort of
moment and blinded him.
We waited for about 30 minutes and saw a metalhead
piss on the side of Slash's bus. And had a couple of
drunk guys tried to chat us up. I love listening to
people who want to get stars out of tour buses. "Hey
man, go in there and kick his ass and make him come
out." "Alright man. I'm gonna get him out here. Slash
rocks!" Yes. Why don't you go in there and try to pull
Slash out by force? Sounds like a good idea.
So eventually we see long extra kinky curly hair at
the front window and Slash comes out along with
Dimebag Darrell (from Pantera). Everyone cheers. He starts signing
autographs and we get to hear lots of people say "Man
you fuckin' rock!" and "Do you remember me? we met in
198x" and I swear Slash has the voice of the
Godfather. It got to be my turn so I had him sign my
ticket stub (why not?) and he drew a heart on it. I
asked him if he would pose for a picture so he smiled
and said yes and I put my arm around him and he goes
"uhhhhhh you have big tits" (quite the eloquent one,
isn't he? objectification rules!!) and then Amanda got
on the other side and he made some comment about
balancing things out. He made a few more groans and
then the guy took the picture and I gave him a kiss on the cheek and he
said "That was a bit up close and personal." and gave the geekiest smile I've ever seen.
Eek. We gave Slash an erection. And he was very
obvious about it. This of course, is the same man that
drops lit cigarettes into his boots and then remembers
they're there like a minute later. No hurry to get
fire off of your skin. What a trooper.
So we got the hell out of there.
Pictures will soon be following.
Washed up rock and rollers will never die.
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain
during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
(taken from an email to my closest few.)