Represent the Scapegoat

- Sloan


Simple Pleasures


Listening to...
Navy Blues - Sloan.

Twice Removed - Sloan.



My family

Normally my mom takes me out for my birthday but I'm not sure what we're going to do this year. My parents seem to be too busy fixing up that 100 year old house up in Whitesboro. Noone is ever home and I guess it's just as well that I'm moving out of state. Perhaps then, they'll make time to talk to me rather than ripping up carpets and carports after work. sigh.

And I think my brother is dropping acid. One of his friends called my sister and said he was selling it. Grrrreat. Matt, you are really becoming quite the modicum of intelligence these days. He usually gets into some sort of major trouble every few weeks, and it's been about three since the last episode. Wonderful! I can't wait to get married and have kids one day. I only hope it's half as fun as it is for my parents.

11 February, 1999
I wrote a journal entry yesterday detailing reasons to move or to stay. Then my computer crashed. It had a pretty table and all of the cool effects, but I can't be bothered with that sort of thing right now. Maybe later.

Last night I went to dinner with Amanda and Erin.  As usual, none of us could really decide where to go, so we went to the Outback Steakhouse. Australian food. When Aaron Evans got back from Sydney we had a very poignant discussion on how Americans seem to think Shrimp on the Barbie is a bonafide dish but the Australians don't actually eat shrimp. They call them prawns. So what gives? Ill communication if I ever saw it.

There were a bunch of fat middle aged women sitting near us, probably on a girl's night out. Getting tanked before they had to get home to make their husbands a late dinner. Ooh! Risky business! Some old men behind us were giving us weird looks the entire time too. And like everywhere else we go, Fat Boy Slim were playing over the loud speakers. Norman Cook must be making a killing on royalties from all of the commercials and movies his songs are in. I love Fat Boy Slim, but it gets creepy when you're eating a dinner salad and "Praise You" is filtering out of the speaker overhead.

After that we went back to my place to watch the end of "Dawson's Creek". Joey's boyfriend is gay?? What the hell? I mean, they are really pushing it for ideas, aren't they? Amanda said that Dawson is going to lose his virginity during sweeps. I believe it. That show is so good. Then "Charmed" came on, and I highly reccomend this show to everyone. Love Spit Love do a cover of "How Soon Is Now" by the Smiths that makes me cry from laughing so hard each time I hear it. We each picked a character from the show that matched us best. I chose Shannen Doherty because she's always been my favorite bitch on tv. And when I was a little girl I used to look like she did on Little House on the Prairie. Kind of. Amanda got Alyssa Milano's character because she's the youngest and unemployed. And Erin got the other girl (Piper) because she is kind of neurotic and paranoid in that same sort of way.  And she's the shortest. [you know i mean that in the best way erin, don't you?]

Then after that, we busted out the Smirnoff and watched Romy and Michele's High School Reunion.   Damn I love that movie.  I so want to be Mira Sorvino and act that cool. The thing is though, Erin and I had too much to drink and were rattling about high school and reunions and I got VERY sad when I started thinking about my high school sweetheart. I really did love him. I started CRYING last night. I'm serious.  Sure, we've both changed a whole lot (at least I have) but I really do miss him. It's been a year since I've even SEEN him, a couple of months since I've heard from him in at least an email, and I don't know when or if I'll ever see him again. It's heartbreaking, really. We were more like best friends in high school than anything else and I truly loved him. It was nice to have a sweet, carefree relationship that wasn't mucked with anything unnecessary. My friends loved him, my family adored him, and he and I just went together really well. I wonder every day how he's doing and I pray he's happy at A&M. Just looking  back at how sweet everything was, it made me sad to think I had grown up and out of that stage in my life. sigh.

I went to bed fairly early. Amanda and Erin stayed up talking until 2 am. Ouch! Work today has just sort of dragged by and I'm getting griped at for calling Chris Murphy a jerk on Sloannet. Sorry if little girls who watch too much Much Music beg to differ. After you meet him, get back to me. I was there, and it wasn't pretty, folks. He IS such a jerk.

Tonight we're going to see Valve. I'm kind of tired right now but I'll deal with it until then.


All content is copyright 1998, Paul Jarvis. It's a 'don't take my shit' kind of deal
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