Bowl! Amanda and I are here watching with iced
tea breath, hoping for Atlanta to win.
Show: KISS. Dancing girls with KISS masks. Best
opening show I've ever seen.
Anthem: Cher! Cher in glittery pink shirt and
light denim jeans. Cher is the best.
Toss: Atlanta wins. Oh yes.
Field Goal. Three points is better than nothing
and most of the teams that make the first score
are the winners. So there's hope.
pm. Denver touch down. Duet of "FUCK"
in the room. Not a good thing. Come on Chris
Chandler. You are cute, do not lose hope.
arrives. I ordered a New York Pizza from Pizza
Hut. Saw too many commercials at beginning of
game and fell to their ploys. It was good. And a
6 pack of Pepsi to boot. We are set.
pm. Passing yards. Denver 102. Atlanta -3.
NEGATIVE 3. Hey guys. Why don't you like uhm,
pass the ball or something.
pm. Field Goal by Denver. Another duet of
"FUCK" fills my living room.
pm. Stupid Phillips commercial with Gomez
covering "Getting Better" - the one
thing I'm really mad at them for.
pm. Take fucking Calista Flockhart off the
screen. She has nothing to do with this game.
pm. Atlanta gets to 30 yard line. Oh yes.
pm. Andersen misses field goal from 20 yards.
Hero to Zero in a week.
Another touchdown for Denver. Damn. Of course, we
don't ee this until Ron Smith was in the end zone
because of a stupid Keanu Reeves movie
commercial. Feck feck feck.
pm. The Wedge from Atlanta. Hold hands to keep
bad guys away. Atlanta makes it to 50 yard line.
Chris Chandler overthrows. Chris! Are you okay?
You have to make two touchdowns, so like stop
pm. Amanda said Tobeck got buttfucked. I think he
just fell down and got hurt. And his backup is
not active today.
3 minutes left in the quarter. Chris Chandler has
weird eyebrows. Threw ball into endzone, not
caught. Incomplete? These terms from my childhood
are coming back. Ball incomplete again. Oh joy,
Andersen made field goal. Only 11 points to make.
Great. This is bullshit.
neighbors are grilling and the flame is coming
out of their barbecue pit and is about to hit
their screen. Man, that's smart.
time. Neightbor rectifies the fire situation.
Crappy entertainment with unsynchronized dancing
and stupid stupid latino mama of pop Gloria
Estefan hurts my ears with her medley of songs
that she wrote and still cannot hit the notes.
starts reading Sugar magazine where young English
girls write in asking for advice about their
spotty bums and if they can get pregnant if
they've never had their period but have had sex.
Is there something wrong with this situation to
Denver scored. This sucks. I don't think Atlanta
are going to win. One quarter left and I'm not
feeling too hot about this.
My name is Atlanta. I am 18 points behind, but I
think I'm going to let Denver take the ball and
run down to their endzone in a couple of plays.
is still reading. Stupid Blockbuster commercial
is on again. I don't want to hear a glammy
version of a mod song. Let's all jump on the glam
bandwagon. Really cool.
scores! We jump and holler and then Amanda goes
to the bathroom and vomits. And comes out and
drinks a Pepsi.
"I'm pissed off. This game is bullshit"
Amanda: "No joke. What a bunch of
think we're going to lose. Amanda continues to
read Sugar magazine. Did you know Kate Moss is
best friends with one of the girls from Alisha's
makes first offensive touchdown with 2:04 left in
Amanda: "Oooh I love two point
Announcer: "Two point conversion"
They do not make two point conversion.
Amanda: "If the bouncer at the door of the
Point has a bald spot, we know who it is."
did not win. We lost. The world throws ticker
tape for John Elway. Hoo-ray.
goin to watch the Simpsons in 30 minutes where
Song 2 will be playing. Weh-hoo.