I am having the best day ever. I just threatened to walk out of the office. It's official "Let's tease Chrissy today. Unmercifully, at that!"

Let's see. Where to start?

I walk in and Deb (the world's most annoying person EVER) tells me she had this dream/premonition that I was going to get married. I freak out and yelp "nooooo" and she says the last time she had that dream, her friend was married a few months later.

Yeah, well, unless John Taylor or Alex James or Andrew Scott (or any other of my obsessions) asks me then I'm pretty sure it's a no go.

Then one of my favorite guys in the office, Marc, comes in through the front door and introduces me to Stefan, our new recruit from Sweden.

Stefan looks like a cross between the drummer from the Cardigans and Modern Life-era Damon Albarn. My jaw nearly drops from seeing something so angelic. I smile and say hi and turn to my friend Tammy and give her the look girls give another girl when they see a cute guy. Just the half smile/bewildered/"oh my goodness" look. My friends have probably seen this on me a few times, so I don't really know how to explain it. But I gave her the look. And Deb (in her annoyance) walked by then and caught on. Feck! Deb, with the BIGGEST MOUTH in the fucking universe.

I said "No, Deb, it's just that I think he's cute. I am not interested in him. It's like a pretty picture on the wall in the office. I can look at it every day and say 'that's nice' but it doesn't necessarily mean that I want my very own copy at home." And she says "SEE! I told you I had that dream for a reason!" <wink wink>

Ugh.

It was another coworker's good-bye luncheon too, so we all caravaned up to a barbecue restaurant (yuck) and I sat between all of the guys, who decided to talk for an hour about their excursion to a strip club last week. Oh brother. I tease them for being such barbarians, but there's no point. They decide to egg me on even more and I end up smacking one of them on the back of the head and he apologizes by getting me an ice cream and calling me ma'am. That's better.

THEN when I get back from lunch, my manager had put a stack of Dilbert jokes on my desk about a person in a box getting no respect, and I laughed, but then everyone came up and went crazy. THEN Deb came up and with about 5 or 6 people standing around, she said "I just went up and asked him. He's here with his girlfriend. She's Swedish, you know. Sorry! I know I should have waited until tonight to tell you so you could fantasize all day, but I couldn't wait to tell you."

Oh, gee, thanks. I know, next time, why don't you call EVERYONE in the office to my desk to tell things like this to me. When I get embarassed I get very red. And I was beet red. And I don't "like" him like him, I just said he was attractive. So now the guys are all teasing me and the next six months (as long as Stefan is here) are going to be hell. Steve (one of my other cohorts) told me that the girlfriend was merely a challenge and that I should go for him more. Shut up! I don't WANT him! Grrr. (and even if I did, his girlfriend is Swedish and probably looks like Nina Persson. and I am really going to compare to that.)

Tammy and I took a break shortly thereafter and I just laughed. She couldn't believe the amount of uncouth Deb had in bringing that up. My God, I'm back in junior high. Let me make photocopies of a note that I wrote to a boy and hang them up in the breakroom. I told her I was just going to go home and go to bed and just forget about everyone. I can't believe how much I got embarassed. I can't believe people are so idiotic to be picking on me so much today. But she said that as long as there is a single girl in the office, and there are single men, this is going to happen. So my options are to either deal with it or get married, and contrary to Deb's dream, I think I'll stick with the torture.

That is, unless John Taylor calls me up (John if you are reading this, email me and you can call collect) in which case I will gladly carry the title of Mrs. Taylor with pride.

My face is a little less red and my ears aren't as hot so I suppose I'm calming down. I ran for support when this whole thing happened and put Elliott Smith in my CD player and I instantly cooled off. Yay. This morning Todd came by my desk and told me to put a CD in my computer to listen. I would, he said, "love it". It was classical guitar.  I raised my eyebrows and said and why would I like this? What gives you that impression? And he said he knew I would. Well, Todd darling, I can't stand classical guitar. I said I didn't like feeling like I was sitting at a Mexican Restaurant waiting for my Enchiladas, thanks, and he got all offended. Todd is the same guy who owns a punk label and is always giving me crappy AFI albums and has given me an open invitation for sex at his apartment. Great. Todd, you are a dork. Todd is a recent divorcee and I'm a smartass so I guess he assumes that we're perfect. I really hate this.

Joni is home for Spring Break from college, so we're going to go out to dinner tonight. I know that Legendary Crystal Chandelier is playing at the Barley House, but I don't think my friends want to go so I'll probably call it an early night and finish watching my Baggy/Britpop/Tour of Quad Cities video. I'm becoming such a boring person lately. I don't feel like *talking* to anyone, but I like going to shows. I don't have to talk then, I can just get into the music. And if I'm not doing that, then I like to stay home. If I weren't so anti-animal, I'd get a pet. Maybe I should buy a nintendo or something.

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