This bright happy sunshiney picture really is a bit of a falsification, and I apologize for it. I'm not having the best of days. But I'm coping. And I'm really trying. So bear with me here for a minute or two.

Jay left this morning for Atlanta and I'm super sad. He was here for almost a week and I know that Amanda and myself really enjoyed having him around. He seemed to really like Katie and Erin too, and I think they felt the same way. Of course they would. He's on Dandysrule and the BJM list with us so it's kind of a given we'd all get along so well. He was actually supposed to go home last night and I rushed him from Plano to DFW airport in 40 minutes. In rush-hour traffic. Which is unheard of. We got there with an hour to spare and booked his seat on x-fares (an air-tran special) and then went to grab a quick bite to eat at the Taco Bell Express down the hall. We walked back to the gate and it was completely empty. Not even an employee was in sight. They boarded the plane while we were waiting for our food and we never heard an announcement or anything. So we pounded on the door and then watched it sitting on the runway from the terminal window. With his ticket still in his hand. I felt so badly for him.

So after that we went to the Virgin Megastore at Grapevine Mills Mall, which is supposedly our version of the Mall of America. Imagine and big cutout of the state of Texas taking up an entire wall. Colored like the salt map I created in third grade. (One of my artistic finer points.) Flashing US flag. Decorations from the Rainforest Cafe and a voice (in two languages!) telling you that you are "entering neighborhood two". Yes. The mall has NEIGHBORHOODS. It's so creepy. So we messed around Virgin for a while and he found the Family of God CD we had both been looking for while I danced at a listening station to Robbie Williams.

After that we went to Denny's and sat and talked for a while. We were surrounded by LOUD high school kids that talked LOUDLY about their senior trips to Cancun and how they're going to a male strip club this weekend. These girls looked like they were hookers in training. And they're still in high school. And they're going to be out in the "real world" in a couple of months? Scary. They gave me such a headache, we finally left and went back to my apartment and the two of us sat there watching Starshaped for a while before finally going to sleep.

And then the alarm went off this morning at 4:30 and the first thing I heard was Josh Venable's (KDGE DJ. Loves Morrisey and is the target for much of my hatred.) voice announcing Eminem and the annoying strains of "Slim Shady" followed shortly thereafter. Ouch.

Needless to say, I was out of bed before long and 45 minutes later we were chugging down the expressway back to DFW. He got his ticket and we sat in the waiting area just to ensure he wouldn't miss this one as well.

I cried when he left. It was so hard to let him go home. I had so much fun with him and he knocked a lot of sense into me. It's rare to find such a good friend in this world. And he's friends with Trinket. So we'll see him often enough, I guess.

Talking to him made me realize how rushed I am. I force myself to go out when I don't want to. I go to too many local shows that I don't care about. Sure, it's nice to go out and support your friends, but if you're just going to have something to do, is it worth it? Surely I could bide my time a lot wiser at home by catching up on my reading and making sure my bathroom stays cleaner. When I'm relaxed I'm a lot more pleasant of a person. And I'll probably lose weight from destressing. So I think I needed to hear this. I am really quickly spinning towards burn-out.

I'm sure this is what my mother has been trying to tell me all along. Jay just didn't sound as much like a drill sergeant as she does.

So tonight the agenda reads: short nap, dishes, deep cleaning of the bathroom, back to bed. I have a feeling the bathroom is going to take me a while, because I cut his hair this weekend and there's brown locks everywhere. His hair was probably a little below chin-level and all one length and now it's very 1965 mod with fringe. Very cute and any guy that can pull that look off should try. Amanda and I were gushing over him all night when he glammed himself up. Oh, how I love having a boy around sometimes. Especially when they like to put on make-up with you when you're about to go out. Even though we all dolled ourselves up just to eat at Cracker Barrel with hicks. Still, it was fun.

I had so much fun this weekend. Now I'm sad, but at least I can still smile when I think about it. And that's what is important. Soy super bien, soy super super bien.