Livin' La Vida Loca

I called home today to find out from my sister that my entire family is flaking out. My brother has been huffing a lot lately (huffing = sniffing glue, paint, etc.) and mom found out and they got in a huge fight. She told him that she hated him, he ran away and was gone for a couple of days, got jumped by some kids in Whitesboro (the quant idea of "perfection" that they thought they had found) and lost all of his clothes and CDs, and then he called dad from the house telling him he was back. Dad took him out to lunch and talked to him and then Matt was put in a Mental Hospital.


He called Angie today telling her he was better and was on Prozac and that he's going to be okay. Angie went with them this weekend to the psychiatrist and the doctor said Matt was extremely suicidal and depressed.


Mom has stopped taking her anti-depressants in the meantime and is going postal at anyone that rubs her the wrong way, which Angie said everyone seems to be doing. Dad is just really quiet and is paying lots of attention to Matt and the new house. Angie said Mom broke down the other day to her and told her that she's tired of life and that she just wants out.


So I'm going to lay low until my life is a bit more settled because I don't really think my folks would be too happy to hear that I went out of town for a couple of weeks to be stupid and see a bunch of shows. I don't regret doing it, because I did need the break and I really enjoyed myself, but I think that was one of the last bouts of band stalking I'm going to do for quite a while. Until I'm more secure financially and have a nice stable home. And I can accomplish more of my goals.

I realized while sitting here in my extendasuite that I've not been very goal oriented for a few years. This has got to stop. I know that I'm an incredibly intelligent individual and it's a shame that I'm throwing it out like I am.

I would love to get back in school, live somewhere cheap and work a crappy part-time job, have to study a lot, and have an occasional date. And I think I'm in a fairly good position to strive for that right now. Am I being too delusional in thinking this?

Anyways, I am going to stop moping and looking for myself and what I want to do. I'm actually going to DO it. So we'll see where life takes me.

Yesterday we went to Trees to see the Hellacopters, a Swedish rock band who got a lot of write-up in the local press. The opening band, The Quadrajets, were from Alabama and barely over-age and already fat and bloated from too much alcohol. Their set sounded like a long Allman Brothers jam session. It was awful. The second band, the Nomads, had a lot of thick-necked fans and were a little bit better. Finally the Hellacopters came up and were not as good as they were hyped to be. They were entertaining enough, but I really regretted wasting my money.

We did run into George and Christian though (no getting called "hot tamale" this time. Too bad.) and Johnny Hawkins. Oh Johnny, you swinger, you. He told me that Dallas will not be the same without the two of us and not to leave. I said it was a dead town anyways, and he said we were the lifeline or something like that, and that I would always be welcome to stay with him if I were visiting. I'm sure I would. Bastard.

Also met some creep on the street that took my picture. Said he was travelling through cities and was taking pictures of local art and people and that he liked my look. And when Amanda started to walk off, he whispered, "You're kinda hot". Kinda hot? Man, thanks for the compliment. So some strange half Irish/half German from Atlanta by way of NYC and Miami has pictures of me walking down Crowdus Street.

My alma mater is making national headlines because they shut down the school district on Friday because of too many bomb threats at all of the schools. Alright! It's good to see that the only mention my old high school gets is from drugs and bombs. Go Allen! I watched the press conference on tv today with Dr. Barbara Erwin and my God, that woman still creeps me out. This woman created hell for so many of us. Graduating classes are remembered to have dropped pennies in her hand as they've received their diploma onstage in front of everyone, so she'd be embarassed with hundreds of pennies at her feet. Angie told me that she was arrested a few months ago for a DWI and Indecent Exposure. The woman is in her 50s and is sagging in every conceivable place on her body. Gross. It is unnerving to turn the tv on to any news station and see her wrinkled face grimacing at the camera. She said that school is back to schedule tomorrow, but Angie told me today that her teachers told her this afternoon to not even bother coming back and they were averaging her grades. So Erwin is just lying to everyone to get them off of her back. Ahh. Allen. Hats off to you.

The other night I woke up with a bad case of insomnia and sat out on the balcony from 2:30 am until after 7 am. I read a book called Fuel-Injected Dreams that whole time -- I found it at half-price books a couple of months ago and bought it as a gag, but it was actually kind of good. If you ever happen to come across it, which I doubt you will because it was such a strange and bizarre story line, pick it up. Lots of rock trivia and rare references.

No big music critiques. I've barely been around a stereo this week, but if I have, I've listened to either Buckcherry or Marvelous 3. And The Fall with Ryan. I think he's coming down to Dallas sometime this week too, just depending on whether he likes his job at El Chico or not in a couple of days. We'll see. It will be fun to hang out again. He really is just the cutest boy I've laid eyes on a long time and has the best sense of humor and is quiet and very smart and I'm going to shut up now because I have such a crush on him.