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keith, damien, and alexxx who are fat les?
some say idiots, i say heroes.

technically, they are (pictured left) Keith Allen, Damien Hirst, and Alex James. if i have to explain to you who each of these individuals are, well, you really have no right to be here, do you?

but what are they doing?
basically, they fulfill my dream. they get drunk at the groucho club, come up with really lame ideas, and follow them through. because they have the money to, and i don't.

they've released two singles so far:
* vindaloo
* naughty christmas (goblin in the office)

i was watching the 'naughty christmas' video the other day and noticed something quite intriguing. at the very beginning of the video, there is an ozzy osbourne looking guy cranking (?) the fireplace. on top of the mantle is a plunger. why? fat les? why did you put a plunger there? can you get back to me on this one? i would really like to know, so if you can shed some light on why you're taking MY idea here, just drop me a line. ok? thanks.

according to nme.com, they are going to make their live debut this summer in cornwall for the eclipse.  a full album should be released in early 2000, and if that's not something to look forward to the millenium for, i don't know what is.

they talk a lot of shit and i can respect that, because that's essentially all i do. no, i'm not nearly as cool as fat les, but like, really, who is?

together, they are here to conquer the world with their own high-minded bullshit. i want to be their towel girl. i want to play my yamaha and make cute keyboard noises for them. i want them to autograph my plunger and then put it in formaldeyhde.

i may be pathetic for thinking they're the greatest thing since spinal tap playing 'stonehenge' mixed with the sheer brilliance of a 'carry on' film. but they are. really. they really are.


pickle this